Responding to the response to my response to CNN December 9, 2007
The Latest , trackback(Coming a few days later than I would have liked due to the Big Christmas Party having commenced last night and the necessity of me being up to my elbows in Polish sausage kabobs and Merlot-soaked cherry brownies etc. for two days to do my part to help it all come together. Pictures forthcoming. It was, as usual, a blast!)
Well, that was unexpected. Silly me for thinking otherwise but I honestly didn’t think what I said would draw in the career ex-member heavyweights who have proven themselves, in my opinion, numb to any sort of reasonable dialogue, all the while claiming, when it suits their purpose, that they are all about dialogue – you see a lot of that in the world today, don’t you? I guess I figured you all wouldn’t want to bother with the opinion of a 20 year old Family member who has never experienced or seen any form of abuse, ever. But I see that you’re just practicing good strategy of spreading your “cause” wherever you can. So that’s my bad for underestimating what it takes to get you going and I feel a little silly for assuming you wouldn’t want to bother but lesson learned and I don’t think I’m going to lose too much sleep over it.
I’m explaining this because I’ve closed the post below for further comments and the reason is because this post was directed to the public who heard about TFI for the first time the other night on CNN, not to those who have already formed a solid, albeit distorted, opinion about us. I don’t assume that I have the ability to change the minds of the Moving On crowd and I’m not interested in trying. What I am interested in is getting what I know about my life and my religious organization out the to the average CNN viewer who deserves to hear both sides. Debating these already well-debated subjects with those who are bent on seeing our missionary work destroyed is not something I have the time or see the need for. They are firm on their stance and we are firm on ours, we try to agree where we can but considering what many of them claim they are ultimately trying to do in destroying the work of The Family (more on that later) I don’t personally see how TFI would be able to satisfy them.
I will address some things that have been said in the comments that I would want to see answered if I stumbled across this blog and thread for the first time (so forgive me if I hop from subject to subject) and I will address some of those who commented directly for the sake of clarity; not because I think I can get the small hardcore group of Moving On’ers to feel any differently, but because I’m hoping that people not associated with TFI in any form will read this and realize, if they haven’t already, that there is an anti-religious agenda being played out in the media and therefore not write me and my friends off as deluded cultists.
It should be abundantly obvious that this and everything else I’ve posted on my blog unless otherwise stated is my personal opinion and should not be taken for Family policy and you cannot quote me as “speaking for The Family” but just in case it needs to be in writing, there – it’s in writing.
As you’ll notice in my post above, at no point did I say that I believe there was no abuse in TFI’s history. Instances of sexual abuse occurred during the period of 1978 through 1986 because a zero policy tolerance on sexual conduct between adults and minors was not clearly stated in Family literature up until 1986. At that point, all questionable literature was expunged from Family publications and a zero tolerance policy towards adult-minor sexual interaction was put into place. Official apologies were made to those who suffered due to some of the ideas in writings by David Berg in the late 70’s that were published without clear rules to ensure that sexual contact did not occur between adults and minors.
If you were a victim of sexual abuse in The Family during that time, I am truly sorry for what you had to experience. I can only imagine what it would be like having to go through something like that as a child and you have my deepest sympathies and I sincerely hope that you’re able to find closure and happiness. I don’t take the subject of abuse lightly; I am saddened that such a thing ever had the possibility of occurring to children in The Family at any point. You may or may not accept my sympathies for what you’ve gone through but acknowledging that abuse did occur in The Family’s past and praying for anyone who did experience any sort of sexual abuse is all I can do as a Family member who has never seen any abuse occur around me at any point in my life. (I’ll come back to this point later)
Do I believe that Ricky Rodriguez had sexual intercourse with his mother at age 11? No, I don’t. With the kind of accusations that he was making both online and on his video before his death, and with the obvious hatred and bitterness he had towards his mother, I can’t imagine him having any problem accusing his mother of abusing him in that way if it indeed happened. Ricky railed against numerous aspects of his upbringing and had no problem sharing how much he hated his mother. So it’s a bit too much for me to believe that he failed to mention such a glaring, horrific, incriminating piece of information during all that time. My opinion is that Davida is lying on that count.
As far as her other claim, that you were “only required to have actual intimate intercourse with David Berg once you were, like, the mature age of, like, 12.” Well, I read the account of Bethany Kelly who lived with David Berg right around that age and it didn’t happen to her. I read the statement from Techi (Ricky’s sister) who lived with David Berg for years and years as a child and teen and it didn’t happen to her. They both say that they were never in their lives abused. They were both there, at the same place and time when this “required intercourse” with David Berg was supposed to be happening and it didn’t happen to them. Therein lies my reasonable doubt about that claim of hers. You may be able to wrap your mind around what she said because you want to believe it, but I can’t.
Now, I don’t believe these particular claims of abuse, but from what some of you have said in the above comments, you’ve taken that to mean that I don’t believe abuse ever existed in The Family or that it happened to you. You must have missed the part when I said I was referring specifically to World Services as that is what was covered in the segment. Well, I think I’ve cleared up what my stance is on abuse having existed in TFI two decades ago. As far as the comments about me calling you personally a liar when you say you were abused, Michelle and Michael, I didn’t. Maybe you were abused, I have no idea, I don’t even know you – but I sure as heck didn’t call you liars, obviously, and I question your overblown response.
I strongly dislike blanket statements and I try my best to not make them. I disapprove of a Family member saying things like “why don’t you just stop lying to yourselves and move on?” to ex-members they don’t know or know anything about because that amounts to mere rhetoric. I admit that instances of abuse occurred in The Family and maybe it happened to you (and I’m speaking to all former members now). I do not accuse people of lying about abuse happening to them if I know nothing to the contrary. Similarly, I don’t like being accused of saying things I didn’t say — so please don’t do it. Furthermore, when statements like “The Family never admits abuse occurred” and “they never formally apologized” are used (the latter being said by Daniel Roselle in his UC Berkeley News interview) it does nothing but further destroy your credibility – that’s just a head’s up for you.
I’m sorry if you feel that your abuses were not dealt with properly but I believe that TFI as an organization has recanted and expunged writings that may have led to abuse occurring, it has officially apologized to any who were hurt or abused in The Family, and it has taken stringent measures to ensure that sexually inappropriate behavior is never a part of Family life again, ever. Current Family members, many former members, and many judicial rulings have shown satisfaction with these measures. If there is an individual that you think has wronged you then it’s up to you as to what you want to do about it, I can’t tell you what to do but I can tell you that to subject our organization to the demands of people who have been quoted to say they will “tear down The Family with their teeth if they have to” and would like to see The Family cease to exist is not something that’s going to happen. Ultimately, you want “The Family” to send Maria and Peter out in chains. They’re abusers according to you and nothing we do short of that is going to satisfy you. You say you want to work with us and yet you also want TFI to cease to exist — so that leads me to conclude that you want us to help you destroy our own organization.
I’m fully aware that my age writes me off as disqualified to talk about these kinds of issues in many people’s eyes on the premise of “you were too young to have experienced abuse”. Well, we can agree then on the fact that TFI has been a safe place for children for two decades. Daniel, if you say you’ve never claimed that abuses of the past are the norm for today then I’m truly happy we agree on this. I wish you would make this point abundantly clear the next time you’re on TV or give an interview, because for all I know the next time I hand out a tract with “The Family International” on it, it’s going to be to someone who has seen one of the many biased shows that have been run on us and they’re going to assume that I’m either abused or an abuser, of which I am clearly neither. They’re not going to remember the one sound bite taken from our statement that the media managed to include; they’re going to associate The Family International of today with incest and child abuse. I don’t appreciate that at all. I can’t imagine that parents in The Family rest easy either. Argentina, anyone?
As far as who my uncle is, well, I don’t see how that changes anything considering the last time I talked to him I was 12 years old. The same goes for my mom’s salary, how is the point relevant? You say I was born after the abuses you’re referring to happened so that applies to all Family young people my age, right? If that’s the case then regardless of how you think my experiences in The Family were different from other Family kids my age, it really has nothing to do with abuse does it? I don’t see how it’s a relevant point in the context of what I’m talking about. Either way, Family members all throughout our history have been accused of begging in poverty or criticized for having too much money (I’m in neither category) and we could argue about that all day, or for that matter we could argue about the keys or Dad’s interpretation of Bible prophecy and have ourselves a field day. About my dad calling you demon-possessed, I could say that based on my lifetime experience with my dad, I highly doubt he would say something like that, and hundreds of people who have lived with him over the years would agree that he’s just not that kind of guy, but you’re entitled to your opinion and won’t believe me anyway so where does that leave us? Oh yes, back on the issues that are relevant.
You also make mention of the publications that were purged from Family publications. I don’t think Family leadership was naive enough to think that by purging those pubs they would be kept out of the hands of our detractors and I don’t think that was their objective. The point of purging all literature that could lead to the insinuation that sexual interaction between adults and minors was acceptable was so that there would be no chance of sexual interaction between adults and minors ever happening again in TFI because of anything David Berg or Maria had written. Those publications were officially recanted – what did you want TFI to do – leave them in? Much in the same way that the comments applauding and condoning of Angela’s murder were taken off of Moving On as it is not the way the majority of your community feels and you wouldn’t want to encourage violence, so were our publications purged so that there would be no question within TFI that our policy was anything other than a zero tolerance policy towards adult-minor sex.
I’ve spoken as an individual Family member who is grieved at the way my religious organization is portrayed in the news. Some former members obviously have a very different view and think the media is portraying us just fine and you’re going to have to decide which one you believe. As for myself and my friends, we’ll be over here, serving Jesus in The Family and having a blast and we hope you’ll join us. We’ll probably continue to get slandered in the media and I’ll continue to speak out against the lies but you know what? It’s all worth it to be in The Family, it really is. All this media crap is really a small con to a huge list of pros about my life in The Family International. There has never been a time in my life when I didn’t feel loved and cared for. I’ve had a great life so far and things are only looking up despite all that our detractors have tried to do. Read all about us on The Family website, Live the Creed, My Conclusion, The BOB Report, and the sea of Family blogs all over the place. If you’d like to write me personally about any of this, (excluding rhetoric and trash talk) write jkvern@yahoo.com
Nothing I have ever seen in my life in The Family has led me to believe that it’s anything other than a great place to serve the Lord, and that is my personal experience, for the record.
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