77 Zealous Inches

Justin: “I was assulted”

Angel: “Assulted? Are you sure you weren’t appeppered?”

This was post was made in a state of panic, needing to release my pent up energies! Couldn’t think of anything to say so I wrote the first thing I heard.

Notice that nifty looking little tab that says “If you’re new here”?

This is the first and very rough version of what will eventually be my personal statement of faith and mass witnessing efforts.

It’s been pointed out to be by one who is wise in these ways that it’s too long and not personal enough. This is true, it’s far too long and there’s so much more I want to do with it. But for some reason I felt the need for speed, to get this up here ASAP. I’m sure Apple is not happy with the first model it ever released.

Who knows, maybe some lost soul will randomly visit and get saved – its worth it for that at least.

I wrote this when I first started this blog, but forgot about it until recent reflection reminded me that if I really believe what I’m devoting my life to, why not advertise?

Any thoughts for future versions, do let me know. Spelling corrections welcome too; I wrote both this post and the page late at night, which seems to be the way my blogging style leans.

Feeling in need of some strong conviction of the Holy Spirit to fall on you?

Word time feeling a little dry?

My friends, I have the answer:

Good Thoughts: Mark 16:15 section

I stumbled across it the other day, and about the conviction that some of these olden day Christians had about soul-winning just wrenched the heart right outta me…in a good way.

This one in particular stood out:

• “If you received $1,000 for every soul you led to Christ – would you work harder at it then?”

Whew…

Master P. being Keith, the kindly gentlemen a few doors down. The nickname comes from an in-office joke that just kind of stuck. Catch his pearls of wisdom at www.keiths-tidbits.blogspot.com
Paula, I’ll have to get you to show me one of these days how to do that cool linkie thingie that you learned how to do. Until then, I’ve linked to him in the Homies section. That just leaves five more people in our Home to convert to blogging and we’ll officially be the most published Family Home ever! Woot woot!
Do check it out though, one of the few FGA’s to join the ranks of cyber journels. Plus, Keith’s just a cool guy! He’s the perplexed looking one on the right.

And so I dedicate the corniest poem ever written, to you; on your 21st birthday, which I realise was yesterday. I’m making up for being a day late by sacrificing my pride to bring you this little piece of my soul.

Others can laugh and make fun of it, but you’d better like it and think its sweet, because I tell ya, this took a whole lot out of me.

Tread softly, for you tread on my heart.

An Ode to the Small One

A short and rounded little thing
From the land of Nippon
Anything that’s good and tasty
You can count on her to snitch on

She dances like a crazy person
She cannot sing to save her life
She’s darn cool for being so pretty
Someday she’ll make a lovely wife

She’ll tell you the truth about yourself
She’ll lend you anything she owns
She’ll pay for your coffee without complaint
And only ask that you drive her to other Homes

Most days I find myself and she
Driving about our friendly town
Frequenting the PO most often
With a stop at Starbucks on the way down

Such happy memories I share with her
Like skipping Wordstock last year
We ate the entire contents of our fridge
Trying to bring out rock-less souls cheer

She has her quirks, it can’t be denied
She has yet to voluntarily make her bed
She hates the gym, which once she loved
She’s very grouchy when not fed

But all in all she is da bomb
The funniest Chinese woman around
Her humor rivals the best there is
A wickeder laugh cannot be found

I’m honored, truly, to room with her
This buxom Form of Lively Angelicness
She’s snazzy like no one else I know
Angel is all around, the best

Now if I really wanted to pull on Steph’s heartstrings for her 21st birthday, I would use a language that only she and I would understand, but I want to share with all of you, my cyber brothers and sisters, just how wonderful the Lord is for giving her to me to grow up with, and how this proves that He loves me the most. Really, He does.

T’was Steph who named me. Yes, my beloved father was this close to convincing mom to name me Holly when two year old Steph piped up with “Julia”. I owe that to you forever, Steph, even though I still resent you for getting the cooler middle name. Kwan vs Lois, its clear who our parents favor.

T’was you who first told me how babies were made. Naturally, it was a mean-spirited and dirty lie: “So the mommy sucks on the daddy’s toe, and that’s how she gets pregnant”. But still, made for happy memories, whispering all about it on the top bunk bed.

Skipping ages 7-12 when I really really hated you with heart, mind, body and soul. Although, even then, there are things to laugh about. I remember when I actually used to daily claim memory verses on Fighting the Enemy against you and sincerely believe that the Lord would answer me and rain down upon you the afflictions of the Egyptions. We used to pass each other in the hallway, and we wouldn’t even have to look at each other and if mom was anywhere in the vicinity she’d shout out “Girls, girls, be loving.”

Somewhere along the way you turned all cool and and then I’d listen to all your stories and pull my hair out wondering where, oh where was I when all the cool stuff was happening to you. This is where I developed the “Everybody likes you, everybody hates me” complex.

Even today, you are decidedly cooler than I, though I don’t mind one bit now. No one can quite pull of the Thai accent like you, nor boss about Nick and Rachel still, though they both tower over you now. No one can get weirder farmer tans than you, no one can make up the weirdest rhymes. No Rainbow Gathering will have a more dedicated member.

I miss you and your foolishness that you’re always asking for prayer against. I miss driving you around places. I miss taking foolish photos with you. I miss you trying to convince me to exercise. Always stay this cool.
A tear for you, my wanis, and a tear for me.

As much as I hate to take away attention from my one true love below, I must draw attention to the perfected and prisitne condition of my links. See? See?
Praises and prostrations to Dan the Man, who has worked his wizardry and made the obstinate code of this unwieldly template bend to his will.

There’s room for more, so if you like me and think I’m cool and you don’t see your link on here, give me a shoutout in the comments. I will be accepting payment in all forms for the favor of linking to you, from sincere compliments on my good looks to contributions to my Happy Fund to your firstborn.

And yes, I know Chucks Harem is a dead site, but the link is staying there as a tribute to what once there was and is no more. Like the Pantheon, its glory will never really die.